Off the Shelf Experiences

In the most basic and fundamental way we are all consumers, I'm not talking about materialism, I mean we are consumers of life, we are consumers of experience.

In our early years as children and teenagers we take what we're given, there's not a great deal of free choice, sure you can have likes and dislikes but ultimately its what you are allowed – and what is practical. Then you get a little older, you start to have your own money, and like walking into a convenience store, there behind the counter life says "Welcome, take a look at all this I've got to offer!"

Off-the-shelf experiences seemed to be piled high, so inviting, so exciting, so much to do... so you start with going out to party – taste the atmosphere, the alcohol, the adrenalin pumping to the beat of the DJ, the eye contact, the body contact, its a swirling cocktail concoction of stimulating experience, although it may well end with your insides swirling down the bowl later; desperately unprepared for a first time!

Experiences keep exploding like fireworks one after the other, driving, kissing, eating out, gigs, working-out, smoking, narcotics, detoxing, spa, snow-boarding, the list of doing things goes on and on and you just keep taking them off the shelf, some you discard without a thought while greedily grabbing for the next.

Then you start to spy some of the bigger expensive items, ooh what about a gap year, that has quite a time cost attached, or are you thinking even bigger? How about getting onto the property ladder – oh yes, here's a BIG one, the setting up first home experience! This one will keep you busy for a good long time. Plus, running alongside this is the career path, not because of the basic need to fund your other experiences, at least not yet, no,  at the moment you feel the thrill and drive to make a mark, to be a someone.

So where have we got too?  late 20's or into the early 30's. Now you're looking at the shelf again, hmmm not really interested in doing the same things over and over, and getting more of the 'stuff' would just mean breaking your back for longer hours in your sweat-shop. You're already sick of that job, and especially of that boss who doesn't have a clue about your business or any people skills to speak of (I believe they are two of the criteria on the application form, along with sloping shoulders for blame and cheesy smile for assumed glory).

So are you going to take one of the commitment boxes? Marriage and family. Although actually it doesn't really work like that does it – more like you run headlong from from the dying satisfaction of the the rest of the experiences into one of these. Of course it fabulous for a while, who knows how long – it depends on many things, and more than that, you've read the instructions on these packages, you know they are supposed to be for life, so even when things aren't working great it's best to not ask for tech support, just get your head down and aim at the end.

Until, at some point you get something you didn't plan to choose, life gives you a shock. It could be a tragedy, an affair, health crisis or unemployment – suddenly the boxes are falling all over the shop. It doesn't make any difference which one its called, once that box is open you are living the 'keeping it together' experience. The denial, the questioning, not since you were three have you used the word 'Why?' so ficken much! It's doesnt make sense, you didn't deserve this and it's nowhere near Plan A. You will eventually work through this pain, find some clarity, and even though you never fully deal with all these issues you find a way to keep living. And maybe for the first time in your life you will start to understand yourself better.

But now there's a massive gap – the shelf is empty, you got the consolation Mid-life crisis package if you believe it can help you, but really there's nothing else to reach for.

If you feel like this and I know I have, don't despair, for one its the natural cycle of life and experience, and for another – this is a new beginning time, where everything changes if you are prepared to step through the curtain, if you are prepared to say thank you and goodbye to that old ego-driven lifestyle that served you so well for all your life so far.

None of this is easy though, and I never saw the script on how this was supposed to play-out, but I'll walk back on that stage, I'll lift my head to those lights and say – Im still standing, bring on part II...