Life Part II

We may only get one life, but that doesn't mean we only have one chance to live.

At the age of 40 I made a splice, or maybe its more accurate to say I accepted the splice. Many influences were telling me no, turning my back to what I was up to that point, and choosing an unknown future has a high price, and uncontrollable consequences.

I shudder at the term "mid-life crisis", Im not a fan of labels of any description, and recoil at the notion of being predictable. But there is a big change of mindset around this time, a shift from laying layers over layers of learned behavior, to removing bindings that inhibit the authentic inner self.

In my first life I choose my actions to please those around me, from parents to learners and bosses, wife, family, influential friends and collective society norms. I don't for a second regret the choices I made, that was my life, I was being me to the best of my ability. Im proud of the achievements he made, and so grateful for two amazing sons with the ageless potential that stretches into their futures. He was a trier, who would accept delusional goals with vigor. A believer and follower of man-made spirituality. A doer, fulfilling his role in societies expected patterns. He was a dutiful man.

Some people experience a tragic event, that rips them from their old self to live their new life. This didn't happen for me, but on the 5th of September 2009, quite silently, 1000ft off the ground and without even carrying his own name, I let that dutiful man become my history.

What follows is painful dissection, freedom from inhibitions, discovery of inner strength and the confidence to choose what I believe without guilt, or fear of the reaction of others. Ive only just begun.

This is my story, this is part II.